It's taken me the better part of a night and day to really process my day yesterday. It was the most heartbreaking, yet most awesome day I've had in years honestly. I felt more true to who I am yesterday than I have in a really long time.
I started off by going to my old church, Cityview Baptist, and helping them with their weekly free meal to the lower income or homeless. It is called Open Table. Everyone comes in, is seated, and is SERVED. We, as volunteers, sit among everyone, build relationships, encourage, and laugh over a meal. I feel like my personality truly functions at full potential in this environment. My gifts of mercy and exhortation are both used to the max, and I feel like I'm doing what I was created for. I had the opportunity to meet lots of new people and even had a hint of an offer at a Canadian husband if I want to move here. lol (I was eating with one of the younger guys and mentioned how much I loved their country and would love to live here and he kinda popped his shirt at his shoulders, cleared his throat, and said..."Well...uh..." ) It was really funny.
I had an opportunity to get to know Marcy. She's a huge Elvis fan. She made sure I got her address before I left so I could send her a postcard from Graceland....that is her dream. She was so incredibly honest about her struggles, what she has been through and how faithful the Lord has been. After the meal is over several people stay for a small group bible study based on sunday's sermon. I just kinda sat back and was very moved to listen as scriptures were read and stories were shared. How God's faithfulness was being proclaimed by people who were poor in wealth, but so rich in spirit. It is so humbling and made me so aware....
On the way home, I had a bus transfer at the corner of Main and Hastings St. When I first lived here 9 years ago....the blocks surrounding this intersection changed my life. I had come to Vancouver back then under the impression that I would be part of a team that gave outdoor concerts to tourists, but that changed when the full band could not be formed. Instead, one of the things I did was spend time weekly in this area walking the streets and passing out snacks and drinks to anyone I came into contact with. I was told most of them would be homeless, drug addicts, or prostitutes, maybe all three. That experience changed my life, and here I was standing in the same place 9 years later.....and it was as if things went in slow motion for a few minutes. This area has the highest drug use in North America. There is a high population of those with AIDS and Hepatitis. They have a free needle exchange in the area for drug users. And the Hub of the Vancouver Police Department is right in the middle of it all. It is too overwhelming so they just try to keep it contained.
So many of us live in suburban areas and we are not faced with the issue of poverty. Or at least its not in our face, but all you have to do is step off a bus here in this area, and its everywhere. You can smell the drugs in the air. I probably saw about 100 people in the 8-10 minutes I was standing there, most of whom were either homeless or using drugs. The man sitting against the wall behind me was holding some drug paraphernalia in his hands. Across the street, there was a man passed out sprawled out on his back in front of a convenience store and a girl was fixing up a needle to inject him with another hit...., prostitutes were walking the street. It literally was a moment of extreme clarity of the reality of our world. I got on the bus with tear filled eyes....it was sobering.
When I got home, after dinner, I went downstairs and just kinda felt frozen. I talked to a few people on skype and every time I started talking about my day....my eyes filled with tears. As heartbreaking as it was....it is undeniable that is stirs something deep within my spirit. Am I called to this sort of ministry? It's what I keep coming back to. It provokes such emotion from me. And makes me feel like I need to put action behind it. But that is where I feel like I lack direction....what does that mean for me? What does that look like? Do I just go back home and try to "fit" in with some already established organization? Do I look state side? Do I go back home, work for a year, and look into support raising to be a "missionary" to this area? I don't know....and that is something I covet your prayers on.
The Word is filled with verses about the poor and serving the poor. A few resonate with me:
"Jesus answered him, If you would be perfect [that is, [a]have that spiritual maturity which accompanies self-sacrificing character], go and sell what you have and give to the poor, and you will have riches in heaven; and come, [b]be My disciple [side with My party and follow Me]." Matthew 19:21
"If anyone has material possessions and sees his brother in need but has no pity on him, how can the love of God be in him? Dear children, let us not love with words or tongue but with actions and in truth." 1 John 3:17-18
"She opens her arms to the poor and extends her hands to the needy." Proverbs 31:20
"Feed the hungry, and help those in trouble.
Then your light will shine out from the darkness, and the darkness around you will be as bright as noon" Isaiah 58:10
So.....that's where I am with it today. We are exploring the idea of planning a trip to this area with the church I'm currently serving with, and also looking at starting a sandwich ministry to a homeless population in a small town in this area.
I just want to be used.....however that turns out. More than ever I want to be the hands and feet of Christ....and wash the feet of his children...ALL of his children....even those with dusty dirty wounded feet.
Please check out this video if you'd like to have a first hand look of Hastings st.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=poIr2PeLHk4
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